Liverpool Doulas Testimonials

I was really fit and healthy during my pregnancy. I ate excessively healthily, swam several times a week, practiced pregnancy yoga every night and got lots of sleep. I was looking forward to giving birth naturally and believed all my preparation would make this more likely. At 10 days past my due date, after a reflexology session, a large curry and small beer my waters broke suddenly and dramatically at 11pm . The labour pains started equally suddenly and intensely.....nothing had prepared me for this!! 2 paracetamol (why do the midwives recommend this??!) and a TENS machine were a drop in the ocean of pain. I was, quite honestly panicked and terrified. My husband got my bag and we went straight to hospital. I didn't cope with the pain. I didn't try gas and air. I wasn't progessing in labour. An epidural and syntocinon drip were set up. I was in a state of shock but so relieved to be out of pain when the epidural was in. I lay like a beached whale for most of the night, the baby was getting more distressed each time the rate of the drip was increased, and each time it was slowed my cervix stopped dilating. 8 hours later the consultant came in and said I needed an emegency section. I was devastated, but as the night had progressed I knew really that was where I was heading. Listening to my baby's heart beat slowing on the monitor with each contraction was very frightening and I thought I was going to lose him.

I was in a state of shock for quite some time after his birth, I felt I had failed at the first hurdle of motherhood by not being able to cope with labour or give birth naturally. This traumatic experience made quite a lot of difference in how I cared for him in his early weeks. I was nervous and overly anxious, I doggedly pursued breast feeding for longer than was in his or my interests.

When pregnant with Jack I ate well, swam regularly, went to antenatal yoga (and ran around after my 1 year old), but knew that this alone was not enough preparation for birth. I knew I needed a different approach, and also knew I had a lot of unresolved issues around George's birth.

My sister had had a doula and home birth which triggered my search to find a birthing partner to support both me and my husband Andrew.

Selina, Andrew and I spent a long time discussing all the stages of George's labour, we talked through how we felt at each stage and how the whole situation had just run away with itself. Both Andrew and I had felt unprepared and helpless in the hospital. Selina was concerned, interested and really helpful in working through our past experiences and putting them in context. At each stage we worked out how we could have reacted differently.

Selina visited several times during pregnancy for massages, relaxation, conversations and tea drinking. One of her most valuable recommendations was listening to the "Hypnatal" birthing CD. I cannot explain how important this was to me in approaching labour calmly and positively.

During our discussions Selina helped us work out, that whatever the outcome of delivery, whether I needed a Caesarian again etc we would be empowered to ask questions, make requests and be fully involved in decision making. As my due date approached Andrew and I found it reassuring that Selina was on the end of the phone.

I started to feel strange and in some pain through the early hours of the morning of the 12th, I spent a lot of time rocking around on all fours on the carpet.....but to be honest I was in my own little world and can't remember it much till about 6 when I woke my husband and rang Selina to ask her to come over. I was obsessed with needing to wash my hair in case I had a Caesarian and couldn't wash it for another 3days!!- my shower took ages as I kept having to bend over with contractions!

Selina arrived and we were really happy to see her, she gave both me and Andrew 'rescue remedy', she couldn't persuade me to stay at home any longer. On our arrival at hospital we were met by a familiar midwife and I was chuffed to find that I was 5cm dilated. Selina's presence was really reassuring. She just seemed to know what I needed. It seemed that she always had something to try that would help me, hot towels on my lower back (I can't explain how good this felt!), foot and back massage, hip pressure ( again, I can't explain what a relief this was!). Between them Selina and Andrew were amazing.

Andrew and Selina were able to make the hospital room our own, I had a mat on the floor(I don't know how she found this) and my own birthing ball. The room was high with aromatherapy oils, the lights dimmed and strange Russian bells music on the radio ( a surreal choice!)

Selina stayed with us all through the labour ( I remember one point not letting her go to the loo!- sorry Selina!)

The pain escalated till it took over my whole body. Somehow I felt in control though, and the experience felt "right". The voice of the woman from the hypnotherapy CD stayed with me, and I could hear her at various points.

Eventually Jack Bernard was born at 4pm 12/02/2007 , he was a fighting fit 9lb 3oz!

I think the endorphin rush and gas and air made me lose my inhibitions, and ask everyone to leave the room so that Andrew and I could enjoy the first moments together- it was magical until I got shivery and shakey, and needed that reviving cup of tea and toast!

Am now 4 months pregnant with 3rd child. Am enjoying this pregnancy so far, and have already booked Selina for June.

Selina gave invaluable support and advice throughout late pregnancy and labour. I cannot recommend her highly enough. I hope my story inspires you to give her a call and see for yourself!

I am a 38 year old new mum. My pregnancy had been straightforward and I was quite optimistic that the birth would be too. When my contractions began at 7am on my partners birthday, I believed that Bela would be born that day. My partner put on my tens machine and I found it took my mind off the contractions. I knew that I had to stay at home as long as possible - until the contractions came every few minutes. They continued throughout the day and became more intense but at irregular intervals-every 6,10,8,minutes. I had been unable to keep food or drink down.

By 2.30 the following morning I decided to go to hospital as the contractions were very strong and I wanted some help with the pain. To my disappointment, I was only 2cm dilated and was sent home. I spent the rest of the night and following day with the same painful, but irregular contractions and was unable to sleep or eat.

At 3.30 the next morning, I had reached the same stage of desperation in terms of pain and went back to the hospital. This time I was 3cm dilated and was able to use gas and air with the contractions. However, after 6 hours I had not dilated any further and yet again was advised to go home!

It was on the third day when Selina called round to visit. She came with a bag-full of goodies- energy drinks, massage oil

She recommended a comfortable position to sit on the toilet- leaning over the cistern, using pillows and began to massage my back and feet. (By this time I had removed the tens machine.) Her manner was calm and reassuring and I immediately felt at ease and no longer alone with the pain.We then went for a walk in the park and she stood by me with every contraction so that I could lean on her. The pain was less intense when walking.

Later I had a bath and Selina went home for a few hours. She returned and continued with massages and as the contractions worsened again, she put hot flannels across my back where the pain was, which relieved it considerably. By 10.30 that night I had again reached the point where I needed further help with the pain and we went, all three of us, to the hospital. I had not planned to have a third party present at the birth but Selina was willing to come with us, much to my relief. (I should point out that my partner had been of no practical help during my painful contractions and had felt uncomfortable whilst watching me in pain. Selinas presence put him at ease as well as myself.)

I was 5cm dilated and finally accepted as being in labour which meant that I would not be sent home again! The three of us were left alone in the room after the initial examination. The contractions came more regularly and Selina continued with the massages and hot flannels and encouraged me to breathe deeply when using the gas and air, which made the contractions more bearable. After five hours it was found that I had not dilated any further and I was told to move to the delivery ward in order to break my waters, and if necessary, to be induced.

Here, the midwife was present throughout. She was initially very formal and cold in her manner in comparison to the midwife on the other ward. This was very disconcerting, especially as my moving to this ward meant that things were not going as they should be. It was of considerable comfort to know that Selina, as well as my partner, were there with me. A belt was put around my stomach, which monitored the babys heart- beat on a screen in front of me. The midwife then attempted to put a drip in my left hand as a precaution but cursed as she said she had ruptured the vain-I couldnt look but it certainly hurt! A doctor then came to make a second attempt further up my arm but again the same thing happened. I was feeling quite distressed by this time and asked them not to do it a third time.

My waters were then broken. This process was totally pain-free and I felt the gush of warm liquid escape. To my dismay she told me they the baby had opened her bowels in the womb, probably some days ago. I knew that this could be potentially dangerous and the midwife explained that they would have to clear the mouth and nose when the head appeared in order for her to breathe safely. Unfortunately my contractions continued to be irregular so I was induced and given diamorphine. Thankfully a third person put the drip in my right hand with no problem. I lay on my side, and for the first time in days, I was able to relax with no contractions for about half an hour before the drugs took effect. Selina and my partner were behind me, out of sight and it was a comfort when she came round to my side to talk to me, as I had felt very alone.

When everything began to take effect the contractions became very intense and I was moved to what looked like a rickety old rocking chair. Incredibly, it helped a lot as I had severe back pain by that time. Each time a contraction began, a set of numbers on the monitor would rapidly increase until the pain would peak, and then the numbers would fall. I found I could not look at the screen and it was only when Selina told me the numbers were falling that I could take comfort and prepare myself for the next one. Finally I was sufficiently dilated and moved back to the bed to begin the last stage of pushing.

In comparison this was over quickly- just 17 minutes. By this time there was another midwife and Selina remembered to tell her about the meconium in my waters, so that she would know to clear the babys airways. Everyone was very encouraging and despite it being painful, it was a relief to be a different pain and to know that the end was near. Bela was born at 9.19am, weighing 7lbs 14 and I had not torn or needed to be cut!

Belas birth had been an experience that I will never forget. It was only on the third day of labour, when Selina came round, that I felt the contractions were all leading to a final goal- a baby! Up until then, it had seemed that the contractions would never end and I had felt alone with the pain.

My partner had become increasingly tense and anxious due to his inability to make the pain better, which did not help my situation. Despite having never considered wanting a third party present at my babys birth, I am now truly grateful to Selina and consider her a god send. Labour became a positive and shared experience and as a result a very manageable one.

I felt confident and in control at the end and I am sure this could have influenced the relative ease that Bela came out and the fact that I didnt tear. I would highly recommend Selina as a doula - she is a natural!

My due date for our first baby was 1st December 2004. I had planned and hoped for a home waterbirth. My consultant had given the all-clear for this to go ahead. The final week before delivery, the midwife suspected I may have developed pre-eclampsia, so I was hospitalised and monitored. Eventually I was let home to begin labour (hopefully) on my own.

The morning of 30th November, at 7am, my waters broke with a gush like what Id never known, and they kept coming, every movement made more gushes. I had to sit on a towel to stem the flow, aaah the beginnings of my loss of dignity! Tom woke up and became very excited but I assured him I had no labour pains. I rang Selina and we both agreed it was too early for her to come.

Midmorning I took a shower and one of my friends dropped by. By now I was going through bath towels and felt like I could hardly move for the amount of water coming. It was very uncomfortable and undignified. Tom was as re-assuring as he could be. Selina called, she was on her way. I felt such relief. At last, this would calm me down.

Selina arrived with sanitary towels and big panty knickers(hurrah, more indignity, but I was getting used to it at this stage!) and I was at last able to get dressed and walk about, such relief. We were all starving by now so we had a big lunch and Selina suggested a walk. We took a brief walk but still no labour pains. I was not keen to visit the hospital.

By 10pm the hospital were ringing frequently, asking me to go in to be monitored. I relented and all 3 of us traipsed in. I was monitored, pad checked (to see there was no sign of infection, maconium passed etc) and then told I had to wait to see the Dr. By 2am still no Dr., so I discharged myself. We all went home exhausted and fell into bed. Tom said with any luck, we may all sleep til about 10am in morning. We will forever remember that statement!

At around 4.30am, I was awoke by what felt like period pains that kept coming in waves, getting stronger and stronger each time. I tried visual imagery and hoped I would just fall back asleep. Nope, the pains got steadily stronger. Slowly and as quietly as I could, I got out of bed trying not to wake Tom or Selina as I knew they were both exhausted. I felt I needed to kneel over to feel any way comfortable and I leaned over the end of the bed, breathing deeply as the pain became stronger each time. As I went to the bathroom, I noticed my teeth were chattering. Thinking I was just cold, I plugged in the heater in the bedroom. I was now having to breath very strongly as the contractions grew stronger. Tom woke hearing me and got up straightaway, I asked him to get the TENS machine. Selina was now up as well so I went downstairs where it was lovely and warm. Selina fitted the TENS machine and showed me how to use it.

I felt I needed to kneel over and got on the couch digging my knees into it and leaning over the back. By now I had the hang of the TENS machine and Tom and Selina were timing my contractions as well as updating the hospital. In between the contractions, I could not believe how normal I felt, no pain, nothing, as if I wasnt in labour at all. It was amazing. Then the contractions became more frequent, the breaks between becoming shorter each time. Things were beginning to feel pretty intense by now and Selina turned up the TENS. My contractions were by now 1-2 minutes apart and lasting approx 2 minutes. I could not talk move or do anything except breath like mad through them. It was almost 7am. Tom and Selina were discussing things but I neither heard nor cared what they were saying, all I thought about now was each contraction and how I could deal with them. By about 7.30am, we decided it was time for hospital. Every movement meant another contraction, making it a very slow journey to the door and eventually to the car.

Selina sat in the back with me on the way to hospital, thank God the traffic had not started, we were there in minutes. Trying to get from the car to the hospital lift took a long time, each movement was bringing on a contraction. I leaned heavily on Selina now, burying my face against her shoulder as I leaned heavily against her strength. It was comforting not to have to look or steer myself, Selina led me while I just breathed through each contraction. Tom was able to go ahead to the ward so they were waiting for us. I was brought straight to the labour ward and shown a bed. I decided to get on a chair, supported by pillows, I leaned over the back. The intensity of the contractions now told me things were really happening. I could now feel a searing heat move down through my thighs and lower abdomen. This was fiercely intense. For the first time, I doubted if I could do this. It was approx 8am. I now had the urge to push. What a strange feeling it was, very instinctive and natural. I didnt push but carried on breathing and using the TENS. Then the midwife came.

She took one look at me and said it was time to go to the delivery suite. She asked me if I could walk. Walk??? Did she want this baby born in the corridor? I knew the baby was close. She got a wheelchair, I could hardly get in it because I got not press my knees together, I needed to keep my pelvis open. I eventually managed somehow to sort of sit in it. I closed my eyes and continued concentrating on the labour as I was wheeled out in the corridor to be taken down to Central Delivery Suite. As we passed the labour ward, I could hear several people saying Luck Roxanne I dont know who they were and I couldnt have cared less. I only knew vaguely where I was and did not open my eyes until I was wheeled into the delivery suite. I quickly glanced around, it was lovely. I thought to myself I can give birth in this room I then noticed that Tom and Selina had a cup of coffee each. All I could think was , how could they drink coffee at a time like this? I almost threw up at the sight of it.

The midwife was insisting on examining me by now. I could hardly move from the chair, the contractions were almost meeting one another by now. I was very reluctant to be placed on a bed and wanted to remain upright. She told I could have Gas & Air if I was on the bed, I immediately got on it and grabbed Gas & Air. What great stuff! I could not stop on it once I started. It was ingenious. Again the midwife asked to examine me. As she did so, I had a brief image of my home, and my pussy cats, the warmth of the surroundings and how cosy and safe I felt there. Immediately I became upset and began shouting want to go home, I want to go home and flung the Gas & Air around the room for all it was worth. The security of my home felt like a safe place to give birth, I missed it, I knew instinctively I was in transition. The midwife confirmed this. I was fully dilated.

There seemed to be a lot going on, people coming in and out of the room, some things were a bit hazy by now, that Gas & Air was doing its stuff! I heard Vontous mentioned. What were they on about? The registrar came in, he was the one who I had met before when admitted for monitoring. He had upset me then and taken instant dislike to him. I hoped he would come nearer, I now had the ideal opportunity to bite him. He had a quick look, then left, shame! I began to feel like I was going to have a pooh, a huge pooh. Oh God, I thought, I can do it here. I became really anxious. I dont know how, or I just cant remember but somehow I realised that the huge pooh was baby coming. I immediately relaxed. At last, baby was about to be born. There seemed to be a lot of excitement now. I was being urged to push, and being told to push like mad. How do you push I thought. The midwife began guiding me, as I felt a contraction, stop the Gas & Air and close my mouth tightly. When I did this, I could feel the strong push. I was being told to push, push hard down into my bottom. The midwife now told me my baby had a lot of hair, very dark hair. Tom now came over and was holding my hand. He had seen the babys head crown and his eyes were very tearful. The midwife told us that babys heartrate was not recovering enough during each contraction, it was becoming distressed. She wanted baby born asap. She asked permission to perform an episiotomy. I consented. I could feel the size of the baby come though my pelvis and birth canal, I knew he was about to be born. With every instinct I possessed, I knew the baby was a boy. I felt so excited. I remember looking up at the clock, thinking that he will be born before 9.30am, what a civilised hour to be born.

The midwife guided him out as I pushed through every contraction. I felt the entire body come into the world and knew my baby had been born. It was 9.29am. I lay back on the bed, euphoric. I heard a voice say is your baby and my baby was immediately placed on my abdomen. My first reaction was shock its huge, its a whole baby, I thought it was just a head! I just could not understand how I had managed to get that through my pelvis? I was astounded. Babys face was facing mine, and as I looked at my baby, I looked into the most beautiful pair of deep blue eyes I had ever seen. Those beautiful blue eyes looked right back at me. I immediately dissolved into a fit of tears, joy, wonder, happiness, pride. Tom was kissing me, telling me how proud he was of me. He cut the cord and then told me we had a boy, a son. I cradled him in my arms, sobbing uncontrollably, holding him close against me, full of wonder at this amazingly beautiful perfect little person. I was awestruck that this incredible baby existed because I had given birth to him.

Tom then held his son for the first time, with his shirt open, for skin to skin contact. It was beautiful to see my beloved husband hold his first born child. Tom walked around the room, cuddling him, holding him close, finally, after 9 months of waiting, he had got to meet his child. Baby contently lay in his fathers arms as though he had been waiting to meet us all along. After some time, the midwife suggested weighing him, he weighed 6lb 8oz, exactly same as his father had. The midwife and Tom placed him in a nappy and dressed him. He was then given back to me to breast feed. He proved to be a little expert and went straight for his target. It took quite a while for me to get the hang of him latching on, but after several attempts, it did happen. The proud dad then went to phone everyone, while Selina stayed with me. I was too exhausted to talk much by now and simply relaxed in her company while she cuddled baby. The midwife brought me a cup of tea, oh God how great it tasted. So good, that I had 3, all with piles of sugar. Selina chatted to me all the while and kept me company whilst Tom made everyone aware that our baby had come. After some time, the midwife suggested moving me to the ward upstairs. I was put in a wheelchair and felt so very proud as I held my baby in my arms on the way to the ward. When Tom rejoined us, he was full of the well wishes of family and friends. Everyone was delighted. Together we relaxed and enjoyed our new family life.

Writing my birth story brings vivid memories of the day Darian was born. It was the most incredible day of my life. I never realised my body possessed such instincts, such strength, such endurance. Even at the highest intensity of contractions, I did not feel fear or feel that I wanted stronger pain relief. I welcomed each contraction, instinctively knowing they were doing their job, bringing baby closer to us each time. It was a rollercoaster that I chose to ride. When I saw my baby for the first time, I was unprepared for such emotion. It may well be one of the most incredible experiences you can ever have. I would imagine that even if labour and birth had been traumatic, it would all have been forgotten in that moment, the moment you look into the eyes of your beautiful child and witness for yourself the fruit of labour. I, myself, found labour and birth incredible: emotional, physical, instinctive, natural, just absolutely amazing. I can honestly say that I would do it a thousand times more just to have Darian. We are now hoping for our second child.

After my wife and I read a newspaper article about bad birth experiences, my wife Mary-Lou decided that she wished to use the services of a doula. Although I had some initial reservations about involving another stranger in the birth process, I realised that the benefits appeared almost wholly positive and that it would be useful to have someone on hand with our emotional support as her primary role.

During the initial consultations, Selina was extremely helpful in clarifying our plans and wishes. She also introduced the idea of a home birth which again, on reflection, we decided could be of great benefit. We had a lot of useful contact leading up to the birth while we made our arrangements.

Mary-Lou laboured for most of a day at home. With Selina on hand to provide reasssurance and extra physical relief, I was able to focus my attention entirely on helping Mary-Lou through her contractions. Because of this, we found that we could breathe through them together, which was of great help to her. Additionally, I could take short breaks for food and comfort without leaving her alone. Selina also looked after visitors, such as the midwives, and our cat who might otherwise have starved!

Although ultimately we had to transfer to hospital as Mar-Lou tired and the labour failed to progress, Selina was still on hand to offer encouragement and support during the delivery, keeping us going. She continued to help us immediately after Evelyn was born, when Mary-Lou was extremely tired and I was feeling somewhat shellshocked by meeting my daughter for the first time.

Throughout our birth experience, Selina was professional yet always empathetic and friendly. Although we didn't quite pull off a home birth, we always felt calm and in control of events. Ultimately, it is difficult to imagine that things could have gone better, and this was due in large part to Selina's contribution.